


Masochist Georg, Who Lives On A Castle Ship...

by goresmores



Series: Polyamorous Lion Pile Series [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crotch Stepping, Face stepping, Hidge fluff, M/M, Smut, pidge and lance speak spanish???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 02:57:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8354203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goresmores/pseuds/goresmores
Summary: hot new content: lance and pidge meme in spanish, hunk and pidge reminisce their childhood and lance is a masochistic piece of shit





	

**Author's Note:**

> this was last edited aug 17th in google docs. i want that to be something you guys KNOW bc LOOK, ITS HERE NOW AND ITS ALSO MY SECOND WORK I POSTED TODAY
> 
> this fic also marks the beginning of the "shiro comes out as aro/ace and exits the poly" era, so thats important!!
> 
> credit to my friend @bloodyarlert for the spanish translations, too!!

“Wait, so you’re telling me you and Keith _weren’t_ kissing that time in the hallway?” Unbelievable. Incredible. How the fuck did Pidge mistake whatever the fuck _that_ was for _kissing_?

Lance had an arm thrown over the back of the couch. “Yeah, no it was more like… semi-affectionate grappling?” Wait, that probably didn’t make sense. “Or well, what I mean to say is, he got mad at me, pinned me to the wall and I was threatening to kiss him but instead I just sort of… nuzzled his face?” Wow, that doesn’t sound gay. Not at all. 

“Fucking incredible. I don’t know why I expected anything different from you losers.” 

“Hey, we’re not losers! I will have you know we’re actually very great _not-losers_ , thank you very much. Well, Keith is kind of a loser, but he’s not a _loser-loser_ , y’know?”

Pidge snorted. “Always the master of english, Lance.” 

At that, the blue paladin dead-panned. “I’m _fantastic_ at english. But,” and then that rat bastard’s voice dropped and he raised an eyebrow, an obvious attempt at being seductive, “if you’d rather I give things a little twist, siempre puedo hablar español. ¿Te gustaría que lo hiciera?" _[I could always speak Spanish. Would you like that?]_

But for once, he actually did it. Lance was seductive. Though Pidge had to admit, it had very little to do with his expression and everything to do with the Spanish and his tone of voice. It was really smooth, and Pidge had to give him credit.

Leaning in with half-lidded eyes, Pidge nuzzled Lance’s cheek and said, “Lance, yo también puedo hablar español." _[I can speak Spanish too.]_

Lance narrowed his eyes. "Pruébalo" _[Prove it.]_ That was basic Spanish, anyone who took a year or two in high school could say _that_ much. 

Pidge crossed his arms. “Prove it.” As if that was going to trip him up.

Lance jumped up and pointed at Pidge accusingly, “HA! YOU DIDN’T RESPOND IN SPANISH!” 

"¡Tu tampoco!" _[NEITHER DID YOU!]_ Nevermind the fact that he couldn't say what it meant in English if he responded in Spanish, right?

“SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT!” 

"¡Otra vez!" _[AND AGAIN]!_

"¡YA, PARA!" [OK, STOP!] Still, he needed to recover from this. But how? It took him a moment to brainstorm, but before long, he had an idea. "Si puedes decir el meme entero de la Georg Arañas en español entonces creeré que puedes hablarlo." _[If you say the Spiders Georg meme entirely in Spanish, then I’ll believe you can speak it]_

Pidge smirked. "Reto aceptado." _[Challenge accepted.]_ He cleared his throat for dramatic effect. "En promedio, una persona consume 3 arañas al año, un dato que en realidad (sic) es solo un error estadístico. En promedio, una persona come 0 arañas al año. Georg Arañas, quien vive en una cueva y come sobre 10,000 arañas al día, es un ADN aislado que no debe ser contado." _[‘Average person eats 3 spiders a year’ factoid actualy (sic) just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted.]_

And with satisfaction, Pidge watched as Lance’s jaw dropped in disbelief. 

“Lance, I’m white, but I’m not _that_ white.” 

He seemed startled by the declaration. “No, that’s not it. You could recite the whole thing from memory. Literally what the fuck?” 

Holy shit. “Did you _not_ memorize it?” 

“No! I totally memorized it! I just… forgot it... now…” He was pouting. 

“Aw, que linda.” _[aw, how cute]_

Lance’s face was red in a snap, blush dusting his cheeks and the tips of his ears. He obviously wanted to say something, judging by the way his mouth was flapping but no words came out. He stomped his foot, slapped a hand over his mouth, turned on his heel and walked away. 

Pidge snickered. Knowing Lance, he’d either be back in no time or he’d go pick a fight with Keith or something. Anything to try to offset his embarrassment.

Kicking back, Pidge folded his arms under his head and let his eyes fall closed for awhile. 

 

“Pidge?” It was a gentle, anxious sounding voice. 

Pidge slipped his fingers under his frames and rubbed his eyes. “Hunk?” 

“Sorry for waking you up, but if you’re asleep for too long you won’t sleep tonight and I also need to talk to you again…” 

Time to assume a sitting position, then. “No, hey, it’s okay. What’s up?”

Hunk started playing with his hands, obviously anxious. His fingers interlocked and his pointer fingers tapped together. “Uh… well, I’ve been thinking? Ever since we had that conversation a couple of days ago. Or well, sleeps ago. The time out here is still weird.” 

That was for sure. Pidge missed the idea of days. “Oh, really? What’ve you been thinking?” 

“Well? That I might want to… try sexy stuff? Like, don’t get me wrong, I’m still asexual! I’m not sexually attracted to you guys- sorry- but I want to try, at least? Because I guess I’m a little less anxious about it? I’ve been thinking about it and it feels that way, at least. A lot of it might have to do with the fact that you’ve done it with Lance… and Shiro… and then Shiro and Lance did it... And so then that leaves me and Keith and I can’t say I’m not curious?” 

Pidge was actually kind of shocked. This was a big topic. “That makes sense! And hey, it’s okay to be curious, and there’s no need to apologize for not being sexually attracted to us. That’s perfectly fine. You’re our big, fluffy romance boy and we love you.” He smiled at Hunk, and Hunk, bless his heart, smiled back. 

Overcome with the need to do, Pidge hugged him and let his head rest on his boyfriend’s chest. 

“Actually, there’s something else. It’s about Shiro.” 

“What about him?” It the phrasing sounded rude so Pidge tried his best to make it sound more curious and less “yeah what about ‘im?” wild western villain who, after asking the question, proceeds to spit into a pot which clangs. 

Hunk put a hand on Pidge’s head and started running his fingers through the his hair. Pidge almost felt like purring. 

“I think he might actually… be aro/ace? Like, it’s just a little weird to me that he’s doing all of this. I don’t want to assume anything but I really get the vibes from him and I’m worried about him? I don’t want him to think that any of this is obligatory or something? Like, you guys aren’t pressuring me into sex and I don’t feel obligated to do anything sexual but I’m afraid Shiro might? Which is even weirder because he’s well informed on consent, y’know?” 

“Do you want me to talk to him for you?” 

Hunk inhaled deeply, and resting against his chest, Pidge could feel as he held it and then heard it release. “Yeah, actually? Sorry.” 

“It’s a-okay, Hunk. I got your back. What are boyfriends for?” 

Hunk smiled at him, thankfulness written all over his adorable face. 

“Smooch?” Pidge offered. 

“Smooch.” 

They shared a peck on the lips and sat together on the couch, talking about different things. Meaningless things, like when Hunk was younger and he accidentally bit the mailman, or when Pidge was a baby, how he apparently would lick anything and everything, including people. 

“One time I ended up licking someone’s lips because they tried to kiss me and little baby me was like ‘hm, this seems like a good time to lick’. Apparently they had a good laugh about it but whenever my mom would tell people it was embarrassing as hell.” But now, Pidge felt himself missing that. When he got home he felt like he’d never be embarrassed by that story again, only glad to hear his mom’s voice while she said it. Maybe even taken comfort in knowing that even though he was gone, she never forgot it. 

“I understand that. My mom would always tell people about how gassy I was. I was a big baby, which is fine, except I was a big baby with big gas problems and that was not as fine. I used to fart really loud and it smelled powdery because my dad would powder my butt, but sometimes I scared people. I once almost gave an old woman a heart attack because I caught her off-guard with a fart and my dad had to apologize so much because, well, what else do you do when your son almost kills someone?” Hunk still couldn’t get over the fact that he had almost killed someone before he was 2 years old. Do they arrest 2 year olds? Can they do that? Maybe they had tiny little handcuffs for 2 year olds who commit crimes. Hunk doesn’t know, but he’s glad he never found out. 

Pidge started _dying_ , to the point where he had to hold his stomach and he couldn’t breathe. He even would have fallen on the floor if Hunk didn’t catch him. 

“Oh my God, I’m sorry but that-” He let out another half-giggle, “that’s so funny! Gassy babies are really cute! Smelly, but cute.” 

He took a deep breath and collapsed against Hunk’s chest. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m just tired.” 

Hunk pet his hair. “Well, by now it’s probably late. You should go to sleep.” 

Pidge nodded. “Okay, I will. Thanks for the talk. It was really nice and it meant a lot to me.” 

Red rose up on Hunk’s dark cheeks. “Ah, it was no problem. I had fun talking to you too!” _And your laugh is always the best to hear._ But Hunk didn’t say that. 

With a last kiss on the lips, Pidge waved goodbye and left for his room. 

 

When his head hit the pillow, Pidge closed his eyes and felt his breath start to even out almost immediately. A few thoughts ran through his head but he was able to shove them away and embrace the heavy feeling of sleep. 

And then some asshole knocked on the fucking door. 

Reluctantly, Pidge sat up. He was ready for murder. 

He stomped for the door and opened it. 

“What?” 

Lance was standing there. His face was a perfect :o.

“Sorry, were you sleeping?” 

Pidge looked him up and down, wondering why in sweet hell he would knock on someone’s door when most, if not all of them, were trying to sleep. 

But that was when he saw it. 

_The boner._

“I was, but it seems like someone’s son has woken up.” 

Lance’s face immediately flared up with a confused and flustered blush. 

“Don’t say it like that!” 

“But he is! He’s awake! What did we call him again? HotRod, right?” 

There was a poor attempt at covering his son that Lance made, yelling, “Jesus Christ- Stop!” He tried, and failed, to cover his junk with his hands. 

“You disturbed my sleep, I reserve full right to make fun of the fact that you have a boner.” 

“You don’t even know why I have the boner!” 

Pidge raised an eyebrow. “Oh, do tell, then.” 

Lance blushed even harder, changing his hands so that they tugged his shirt down over his no-no zone. He averted his eyes as spoke. “I was trying to go to sleep but then I thought about you… stepping on my face.” 

Ohohohoho. Pidge smirked. 

“Me? Stepping on your face? Lance, how naughty!” 

Lance’s gaze snapped back in defense, “It’s not like I wanted to, okay?! It just sort of happened!” 

“No, no, this is fine. Don’t worry about it. Get inside.” Pidge tugged him by the arm through the door. 

Pidge has every intention of making fun of Lance, because while this was a chance to get down and dirty again, Pidge was honestly just tired and thought this whole situation was ridiculous. Like, who comes to someone else’s room with a boner and says they want you to step on their face? That’s not realistic. 

And yet here they are. 

“Okay, ya weirdo. How do you want this to work?” 

Lance just stood there. “Uh…” He had no idea, did he? 

“C’mon, Lance. What are your deepest most masochistic desires? You want me to step on your face but there’s gotta be more to it.” 

The real surprise was that Lance had to _think_ about it, instead of having an answer right off the bat. 

With a bit of a shrug, Lance proclaimed with a flushed, obviously embarrassed expression, that he wanted to be stepped on ( _duh_ ) but also that he basically just wanted Pidge to be verbally mean to him. 

“Y’know, like just basic dirty talk stuff. ‘Yeah, do you like that y-you mutt?’” 

“Did you just stutter during your own example?”

“oKAY FIRST ALL--”

Pidge cut him off with laughter, reassuring him that he had it and that he didn’t need to explain.

“I just want you know I’m gonna make this as awkward as possible.” Pidge signaled for him to squat down.

Obeying, Lance spoke back. “You’re a demon.” 

“And you’re a perverted heathen.” 

Pidge nudged Lance with his foot while the blue paladin kept talking. “We’re a real match made in heaven, huh?” Pidge made a noise of agreement, letting Lance keep speaking to him to help ease the awkwardness of the situation, despite telling Lance it would be as awkward as possible. He still needed to soften the awkward for himself, after all. 

Lance was on his knees now, rambling about something or other, Pidge wasn’t really sure anymore, preoccupied in drinking in the guy in front of him. T-shirt rustled and his boner concealed only the fairly thin looking fabric of his boxers. 

“Lance, put your hands behind your back and lock your fingers together. You’re flapping them too much.” 

He obeyed and that was a lot better. He shut up for a second, but then, almost unfortunately, kept talking. Pidge brainstormed a way to remedy the situation. 

He had to have a thing for being watched like this. He was rambling, nervously, but Lance’s hard-on hadn’t abated in the slightest.

Finally, Pidge raised his leg and used his foot to toe at Lance’s dick, shutting him up immediately as he moaned. 

“O-oh my God, Pidge--” 

“Shut up.” _Shit._ “Actually, wait, on a side-note, we didn’t choose a word that you can say for when I’m going too far?” 

With an impossibly red face, Lance squeaked out “Avocado.” 

“Avacado it is then. Just as a precaution, on a scale of 1 to 10, how hard do you want me to go, exactly?” 

“Fuck-- 8.” 

WELL. 

Without another word, Pidge went back to toeing at his boyfriend’s dick, up and down the length, enjoying the sounds Lance was letting out, small moans and pathetic whimpers at the times Pidge smirks at him and barely touches him. 

Pidge let out a gross, sarcastic sounding laugh. “I can’t believe you’re so desperate that you’re getting off to me touching your dick with my foot.” It was an act, of course, because while Pidge was known to be mean to Lance on occasion, this was different, and it sent a shiver down his body in a way he’d never experienced before. 

He lifted his foot from Lance’s dick and up to his face, applying just enough pressure to his cheek that Lance tipped back. Pidge was somewhat thankful that Lance didn’t attempt to break his fall by unclasping his hands from behind his back, because the thump and moan he was rewarded with excited him. He felt bad, feeling the excitement and the rush in being sadistic towards Lance, but at the same time, however, Lance wanted this. And as things were progressing, Pidge wanted it too. 

His whole foot came to rest on the right side of Lance’s face, shoving the rest of it into the floor as he dug his foot into Lance’s face. 

He could see the flush on his boyfriend’s face, him gritting his teeth, the pathetic mix of hurt and pleasure as Pidge switched to digging his heel into his temple. 

“Do you like it when I treat you like shit? Are you so desperate for my attention that you love it even when it’s just me hitting you and calling you a pathetic, thirsty whore?”

Lance keened. “Yes, yes, fuck yes, _Pidge!_ I do, love it so much, love it when you treat me like shit. You’re so cute, but you’re so _hot_ when you’re riding my dick and tying me up.” 

Pidge smirked. “Of course you do. You’re my bitch, through and through.” 

His foot trailed down Lance’s side, the darker boy jerking at the ticklish sensation. He gave Lance’s hip a quick dash of rough treatment before finally brushing the top of his foot along the tented length of Lance’s dick. 

The blue paladin gasped, eyes wide, and let out an obscene moan as he came in his briefs. 

Pidge stood there with crossed arms as he waited for Lance’s breathing to slow. The rough and heavy draws of air lasted for a good while, though, and Pidge dropped to the floor to level with his boyfriend. 

“You okay?” 

Lance gave him a thumbs up and winked. “Never been better.” 

Yeah, he was fine. 

Lance sat up. “What about you? Are you wet?” 

“Kind of, but it’s fine. I’m not really in the mood to get off right now.” Pidge scooted closer and gave Lance a gentle peck on the lips, which quickly became one peck after another before they were just a smidge away from making out on the floor. 

When they finally pulled away, Pidge was tempted to wipe at his lips with his sleeve, but decided against it. 

“Seriously, though. Please never come to my room when I’m trying to sleep again. I’m fucking exhausted.” 

“Yeah, sorry. Won’t happen again. I just didn’t think I’d be able to sleep if I didn’t.” 

Pidge considered this. 

“You could always sniff one of my shirts, jerk off in my bathroom and lay down with me, if you wanted to. Just don’t wake me up, or else I might actually kill you next time.” 

“Isn’t that too harsh?!” 

Pidge shrugged. “Maybe you’re right. I’ll just bite you instead.” 

“Well that would just be counterproductive.” 

Snapping his fingers, Pidge leaned back. “Also true. Damn, why’d I have to date a masochist? I can’t win with you, especially with your praise kink. If I’m sweet to you, you dig it, and if I’m mean to you, it only fuels you. You’re awful.”

Lance smiled, “So I’ve been told, multiple times by all five of you guys.” 

Pidge pulled himself up and extended a hand to Lance, helping him up off the floor. “Good, because you’ve deserved every single one of them, no doubt.” 

“I guess so. Hey, though… is it okay if I use your restroom to clean up? I wanna stay in here tonight, but I’m kind of uh…” He looked down at the wet stain on his briefs. 

“Oh! Yeah, sure. I have boxers if you want to borrow them? I don’t know if they’ll fit though…”

“It’s worth a try??” 

“Yeah, yeah it is. I’m laying down. You clean up. No getting in my bed without boxers, though, or you’re booted for the rest of the week.” 

Lance put a hand to his forehead in mock salute. “Aye aye.”

**Author's Note:**

> as always, you can see more of me @dogmemes420 on twitter, if you're interested!


End file.
